


Fine Print

by platonic_boner



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Reincarnation, Sad Ending, This Does Not End Well, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 14:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5293868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonic_boner/pseuds/platonic_boner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dragon promised that Arthur would return, but he said nothing about Merlin being able to find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fine Print

Kilgarrah's promise that Arthur will return keeps Merlin going.

He wanders through the centuries. Sometimes he pauses and lives like a mortal for a few decades at a time, sometimes he practically hibernates and lets the years pass him by. He always wakes up every few months to check for Arthur, though.

Merlin stays in Britain, even when there are boats and planes and he could go anywhere, because he can't imagine Arthur being anywhere but here. He watches the news and keeps an eye on the military, the royal family, the firefighters, anywhere he thinks Arthur would gravitate towards. He wants to find Arthur as soon as he can. He doesn't want to spend any more time alone than he has to.

Merlin starts to believe in reincarnation when he meets Gwaine a few centuries after Arthur’s death. The only constant about Gwaine is the fantastic hair and the personality, but Merlin’s sure it’s him. He meets Gwaine in at least five different bodies. He's slept with four of them. 

He's met Morgana six times. He was initially wary of her, but usually she reminds him of a younger Morgana and not the twisted, evil woman she became. She's always railing against injustice, against unfair laws and brutality and tyrannical leadership, and they team up to save women during the witchhunts. Sometimes she gets a little scary, but she usually means well. Gwen is often at her side. Gwen is always incredibly sweet and balances Morgana's temper well. 

He never meets Gaius. Merlin thinks it’s because Gaius’ soul was already old and wise and close to completing its journey when they knew each other.

When it finally happens, sometime in the 21st century, Merlin is very alone. Last time he saw Gwaine, about a decade ago and as a woman, she was off to climb Mount Everest. She hasn't come to see him since, although he knows she succeeded. Morgana, with Gwen's passionate support, is busy freeing lab animals from cages and going undercover on factory farms. Merlin visits them occasionally for dinner, because Gwen's vegan chocolate pie is _amazing_.

As always, Merlin gets his daily paper and flips through for any mention of Arthur. He's been doing this for almost 15 centuries. He's not really expecting to find anything.

So he drops the paper into a puddle when he does.

_Unlikely hero saves village from unidentified beast_ , the headline reads. It has a picture of the dead creature, which Merlin recognizes as an evil, magical, and possibly world-ending beast, and the hero, who, it explains, is in a hospital in critical condition and not expected to survive.

It's Arthur. Arthur, who is an "unlikely" hero because he has been living for who knows how long as a homeless man and hasn't made the news in any of the ways Merlin expected him to. Because how stupid was Merlin, expecting Arthur to adjust to modern life without any problems, to find work and shelter and to not get arrested for carrying a great bloody sword around? So Arthur has been alone and homeless and probably confused and miserable and now he's in _critical condition_ and - 

The dragon had promised Arthur would return. He hadn't promised Merlin would find him again.

Merlin feels an urge to scream at the sky, even though Kilgarrah is long dead. He wants to take _someone_ to task for this horrible unfairness. But that wouldn’t help Arthur. So instead, he sets off, grabbing a cab and directing the driver towards the hospital.

The nurses only know Arthur's first name, thanks to a child in the village he'd saved, and they don't know if he's got any family. But when they see how distressed Merlin is, they let him in, because they figure his tears are all the proof they need that Arthur belongs to him.

Merlin stares at Arthur's sleeping face. He's got a scruffy beard and he looks tired and ill but he's still Arthur. It's the best and worst thing Merlin has seen in a very long time.

"He hasn't got long now," the doctor says softly. "There was nothing we could do but make him comfortable."

Merlin nods, swallowing hard. The doctor leaves the room and Merlin stands at Arthur's bedside, pressing his hand against his chest. He whispers all the healing spells he knows, and feels them all fail. He wishes desperately for Gaius, even though he doubts the old physician would have been able to do anything that Merlin's magic and modern medicine can't.

He puts his head in his hands and tries not to cry. At least, not to sob so loudly that the people in the hallway will hear him.

"Merlin," a voice rasps, and he looks up with desperate hope. Arthur is awake, his eyes partly open and his hand reaching for Merlin's. For a second Merlin thinks his spells have worked after all, but Arthur looks no healthier.

Sometimes, Merlin knows, the sick seem to recover just before they pass.

"Arthur," he says, squeezing Arthur's hand tightly.

Arthur manages a small grin. "Seems like we were just here, doesn't it?"

The sobs start to escape Merlin then. "I'm sorry I couldn't find you," he says. "I tried so hard, I've been looking for you for centuries, and I _missed_ you somehow -"

"You did find me," Arthur says. "You're here now."

"I'm not going anywhere," Merlin promises.

"Good," Arthur says. "Because there was something I forgot to say the last time."

"Yeah?" Merlin asks, watery.

"I love you," Arthur says, and pulls Merlin down, his beard scratching Merlin's chin as he kisses him.

Merlin pulls away to say, "I love you too," and they kiss again, and again, and again.

"Merlin," Arthur whispers, finally pushing him away. Merlin goes, reluctantly. Arthur looks deep into his eyes. "Merlin, I'm not coming back this time."

"Don't - you're not - " Merlin tries to deny, but they both know it's not true. 

"I'll always love you," Arthur says, smiling at him, just before his eyes flutter shut.

Merlin lets out a loud bawl. Arthur is gone. He waited fifteen hundred years for these fifteen minutes, and now Arthur is gone again. Merlin cannot believe the unfairness, the unkindness of the universe. Nor can he comprehend a world without Arthur, or at least the promise of him, in it. He sobs, devastatingly lonely and heartbroken.

Merlin lays his head on Arthur's still chest and lets the years catch up with him.


End file.
